whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”
Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
We don’t talk about that.
let’s talk about the universe and make out
"Shall we order dessert?"
"No thanks… i’m stuffed.
get to know me meme: [3/8] male characters ✴ andy dwyer"Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems."
sometimes i think i’m sassy and then i realize i’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean
wish i was witty and cute but instead im sarcastic and annoying
Tell me I’m cute or something so I can like roll my eyes at you but then blush when I think about it later
*Likes your post because i secretly want to have sex with you*
I know I’m not the only one who does this but you know when you have this like boundary around you when you’re sitting at a table or a desk that only you are allowed to be in
And then someone or something that isn’t yours
gets in that space
and you just
Holy fuck finally someone who understands
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